Horror to the left of me, porno to the right, here I am...stuck in the middle with...this! Welcome creeps, today we're discussing Joe D'Amato's Porno Holocaust. In true exploitation tradition, the title is obviously jivin' on Deodato's Cannibal Holocaust (1980). Of the two, one is an exceptionally well made Italian horror film, the other is a haphazard mix of horror and erotica.

I had read little more than a brief synopsis, the year it was made and a little bit of production trivia prior to this viewing. Legend has it that in 1979 D'Amato shot this back to back with Erotic Nights of the Living Dead (1980), in Santo Domingo. Together they actually make an interesting double bill, and you'd be forgiven for getting the two mixed up as both feature the same locations & actors.

The plot revolves around a group of scientists traveling to a mysterious island where a series of nuclear tests were conducted, in order to investigate mutilated animals and the locals' sightings of an alleged monster. The typical "cursed island, go there and die a gruesome death" sort of plot. 

Upon reaching the island they find it to be deserved with no signs of life; no insects, rodents or birds. What is living on that island I hear you ask? It's a black local with a melted nose, who kills women by inseminating them with his radioactive semen. Joe D lovingly treats us to some monster P.O.V. shots of the troop as they aimlessly roam around the island. Thrilling.

I'm no geography expert but this island looks exactly the same as the one featured in Fulci's Zombi 2 (1979). and maybe even Marino Girolami's Zombie Holocaust (1980).
One of the most frustrating parts of this film is that D'Amato really holds off on the monster reveal, you don't get a glimpse of the rape-zombie-man until it's over an hour into it. When he decides to off the professor then "take" a little somethin' somethin' from the professors wife. Classy.



The scientists soon discover that their boat has drifted out to sea and it would appear someone or something had cut the ropes at the dock. Leaving them stranded on the island. Meanwhile the monster snatches one of the scientists; Annie and keeps her in his "lair". So who comes to this damsel in distress' aid?, I hear you ask. Well, that would be Captain O'Day whom she had something of a fling with earlier in the film. In all fairness, with the shallowness of the characterisation, he likely only rescues her for more of the old 'in-out'.
A piss poor example of a chase sequence ensues, where the monster meets his eventual demise at the business end of a harpoon. Nice! Which leads to the remaining couple engaging in copious amounts of the old 'in-out'. Hurrah for close ups! Once thats over and done with they climb aboard a small boat and wave to a bigger ship in the distance in hopes to be rescued. Talk about a fairytale ending.

As the credits began to roll I was left with the question what it was D'Amato set out to achieve by creating this motion picture. Was it intended to be a surrealist comedy? Was it intended to be genuinely arousing? Surely not with those genital warts on our monster-man, those were definitely no latex applications.
There's no saving grace, the deaths are near gore-less. For D'Amato completionists, and fans at the extreme end of trash cinema, you don't need me to tell you about it. But what a title! What a premise! Is that enough alone to make you want to see it?