Here's a real goodie! One day, I'll get around to doing a proper write-up for this sleazy creature feature, until then...

Legendary NYC-lensed horror, C.H.U.D. Sewer-dwelling mutants; code named: Cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers, begin to wreak havoc on the denizens of the Naked City.

Now here's a film I need to revisit! I haven't seen this in years and I've only ever seen it via my cruddy Vipco DVD, the less said about that the better. Douglas McKeown's homegrown sci-fi horror - The Deadly Spawn.

Charles Band's dystopian sci-fi horror, Creature, starring Demi Moore in her first major role.

Fourth edition of the Film Diary; covering films I've watched within the span of a week, accompanied with a short review and rating. I will try to churn these out as quickly as possible, but there's never enough hours in the day. These reviews won't appear under the index of reviews as I prefer to keep that reserved for more lengthier entries.

Films watched between Monday 21/11/2022 and Sunday 27/11/2022.

Monday 21/11/2022
Haute Tension / High Tension / Switchblade Romance (2003)

Director: Alexandre Aja

I've long believed this to be Aja's best work, followed closely by his updating of The Hills Have Eyes (2006). I can distinctly remember becoming obsessed with this film as a teenager, so I suppose I'm bringing a lot of personal bias to my rating. The plot sees two best friends, Marie and Alex, planning to spend a weekend with Alex's parents at their country, however events take a grisly turn when a boiler suit-clad maniac shows up on the night they arrive, and begins to systematically murder Alex's family. Overflowing with the red stuff, Haute Tension offers copious amounts of bloody bodily destruction and a veneer of psychological horror. Philippe Nahon brings an unstoppable and menacing energy to his role, and the sound design is unforgettable. A key ingredient in the New French Extremity. Check it out.



Monday 21/11/2022
Sissy (2022)

Director: Kane Senes, Hannah Barlow

Sat down to check this one out with Emily; we checked out the trailer, gave it a shot, and ended up having a real good time with it. Two girls who were best friends as teenagers, Cecelia (don't call her Sissy!) and Emma, have a chance meeting after a decade, an encounter that results in Emma inviting Cecelia to her bachelorette weekend in a remote, but luxurious cabin in the woods. Silly, bloody, oddly endearing and surprisingly dark; this is certainly one of the better Shudder originals. Nicely paced and not too predictable, give Sissy a chance.



Tuesday 22/11/2022
Knock Knock (2015)

Director: Eli Roth

I'd been waiting to see this for sometime and unfortunately I found it to be a relatively dull affair, and a really poor effort from Eli Roth, who's last semblances of creativity seem to have thoroughly dried up. Knock Knock is effectively a remake of a remake; for those unaware, this is based on the gripping psychosexual thriller Death Game (1977), which in turn was heavily influenced by the earlier Little Miss Innocence (1973). Performances are decent; perhaps it's just me, but this seemed like a really strange role for Keanu Reeves, he plays it very well, albeit for a hammy screaming during the in the closing moments. Lorenza Izzo (who's married to Eli) and Ana de Armas (who's not married to Eli) are entertaining, spunky, and convincingly cracked as the deux femme fatales terrorising poor Keanu.



Tuesday 22/11/2022
Night of the Creeps (1986)

Director: Fred Dekker

Another favourite from my teenage years. The film offers further evidence that Tom Atkins is a blessing for genre film. I watched this one alongside Emily who at first was a little thrown off as the film opens aboard a spaceship, with dwarfish aliens scampering around, firing laser rifles, before cutting to a black and white sequence. The fact character names are based on (mostly) horror filmmakers shouldn't be lost on any bonafide fan. I remember when I copped one of the first trailers for James Gunn's Slither (2006) and crying foul about the similarities; space slugs entering people's bodies and turning people into zombies. Essential; check it out.



Friday 25/11/2022
Slash/Back (2022)

Director: Nyla Innuksuk

Odd little film I checked out via Shudder. I started watching this with Emily, who after about 35 minutes could no longer withstand the wooden acting from literally everyone on-screen. I watched the rest by myself a day later and she was right, there's some terribly wooden performances, but I enjoyed the Inuit take on genre film. It reminded me of the recent and excellent Canadian zombie horror, Blood Quantum (2019); a film that revolves around a First Nations reserve during a zombie outbreak, who's residents are immune to the plague because of their indigenous heritage. If you could imagine John Carpenter's The Thing (1982) set within an isolated Inuit community, and instead of testosterone-heavy Arctic researchers, they're bored adolescent girls, then you're on the right track. Not all bad, but not enough to shout about.



Saturday 26/11/2022
Centipede Horror (1982)

Director: Keith Li

Hong Kong lensed black magic shocker, infamous for featuring scenes of people vomiting live centipedes. The film manages to tap into a primal and hereditary fear of creepy crawlies. There's something so utterly grotesque and repulsive about centipedes that the sight of them alone is enough to make your stomach flip and your skin crawl. The worst part about this movie is its pacing, after a strong opening it feels like an eternity before there's any follow-up centipede action, and admittedly, it does get a little silly in the last act with a duel between two mages, but overall is a satisfyingly unpleasant flick. Check it out.



Sunday 27/11/2022
Crash (1996)

Director: David Cronenberg

Decided to watch this as it was my birthday and I was given carte blanche of choice by Emily. I opted for something relatively "normal", instead of choosing an edgy or provocative title like Passolini's Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) or Shaun Costello's Water Power (1977), I settled on the somewhat controversial adaptation of J.G. Ballard's Crash. Hot off reading the novel, I thought it would be a great idea to tackle Cronenberg's screen adaptation. Strange. Strange may be the best word to describe how I feel about it. I felt like a few liberties had been taken with the source material, as if Cronenberg blindly assumes everyone has read the novel prior and is familiar with the story, because a few plot points are barely fleshed out, or are entirely glossed over. As it stands, I quite liked it; Emily loathed it and after a recent viewing of Videodrome (1983), she's subsequently banned all Cronenberg from our filmic choices. We'll see how long that lasts.

"The First New Horror Creature" - I've always been slightly perplexed by that tag-line, whether it's down to me perceiving it as an example of poor english, or it's actually part of the film's illy constructed horror-parody aspect, I'm still not sure. In any event, I recently re-watched William Sachs' bewildering Sci-Fi Horror-cum-Spoof Comedy, The Incredible Melting Man and wanted to share my thoughts.

Starring: Alex Rebar, Burr DeBenning, Myron Healey, Michael Alldredge and Ann Sweeny.

I can just about remember watching this film for the first time when I was much younger and very new to horror films and after viewing it, I wasn't 100% sure what to make of it, I was left feeling baffled.

I watched it purely because it was on the Vipco label. For those of you that aren't in the know, Vipco was a UK video label founded by Mike Lee in the late 70s and I suppose it became notable partly for being one of the main video labels caught up in the whole 1980s 'Video Nasty' furore in Great Britain.



Though I must admit, I'm no authority on any of this, given that I was still in the stages of pre-life at the time. To cut a long story short, if you're growing-up in England and become interested in horror movies, chances are you will encounter the Vipco label at some point or another and it's because of that association that I ended up first learning about and watching The Incredible Melting Man.

Apart from my initial confusion there wasn't much else I could recall about the movie for many years afterwards and that's mainly what put me off re-watching it...until now, and the fact that Arrow Video/Films came along and released a new beefed up, widescreen transfer had nothing to do with it. I'm kidding, it actually had a lot to do with it, if you've ever watched a Vipco release then you'll know firsthand how poor the quality is. You'll also know the same 4 trailers included on every disc off by heart, haha.
I believe my confusion was born out of not really knowing what the film was all about. In my juvenile mindset I must have expected a gory, gross-out B-movie and while the film offers slimy melt scenes, it's actually not much of a bonafide 'gore-fest'.



Before watching this a second time I did a little bit of poking around on the internet and I read that during it's inception The Incredible Melting Man was initially penned as a parody of horror films. This kind of explains the befuddling tagline, which has always struck a nerve with me, and it also explains some of the seemingly out-of-place oddball humour present within the film. According to what I read, a lot of the comedic scenes were edited out during production, in favour for shooting the picture as a straight horror film.

The plot is simple; a team of astronauts go up into space and are hit by excessive blasts of radiation, it's actually made unclear whether this is because the astronauts pass through the Rings of Saturn or simply because they look at the Sun through them. Needless to say most of the team die leaving only Steve West (Rebar) alive although seriously injured, and by seriously injured, I mean he's beginning to melt... Upon waking in a hospital and discovering his partially gelatinous state, Steve embarks on a murderous rampage throughout the countryside. Feasting upon human flesh in an attempt to restore his rapidly decaying cells.



The Incredible Melting Man is one of those rare and genuine cases of 'so bad it's good' cinema. It's a schlocky ride from start to finish; with a wafer thin plot and dubious performances from the cast. Yet with all this working against it, it still manages to keep you engaged and entertained.
"It's secret", you ask?
Well...I believe you can safely pin the 'success' of this movie on Rick Baker's special effects. They're nothing short of brilliant and I kinda of like to think of this film as a showreel for Baker's talents. Each and every time the narrative switches back to the Melting Man you're just waiting to catch a glimpse to see what stage of decomposition he's reached.

In short, "...come prepared!" don't expect too much, in fact don't expect anything... not a barrel of laughs or a radioactive bloodbath. Just take it for what it is, a cheap, cheesy B-movie with a titular melting antagonist.

Once again, fellow freaks, fiends, monsters and mutants I'm still attempting to return to the blogosphere. My life has taken a lot of twists and turns in the past 18 months. I feel it needless for any further explanation or procrastination, since I generally like to try and keep my personal life out of my blog. I feel that because I made this talk about movies I love, hate or love to hate I shouldn't use it to talk about personal problems, or life in general.

With that BS out of the way, I'm going to be talking about Marvin Kren's second feature Blood Glacier. Also known as, Blutgletscher and The Station.

Starring: Gerhard Liebmann, Edita Malovcic, Brigitte Kren, Hille Beseler and Peter Knaack.

Now, I'm going to assume most of you reading this are somewhat familiar with Kren and his first outing, the zombie film Rammbock (2010). I watched Rammbock some years ago and can actually recall very little of it. I do however remember it as having quite an intense and brooding atmosphere and being one of the 'stand out' zombie films of more recent times. In the UK it's known as Siege of the Dead, undoubtably a cash-in attempt on the many 'of the dead' films currently circulating. Yet, in the States it's known as Berlin Undead - I prefer this title, as I think it's much simpler and entirely more effective. Let me explain why (yes a rant is steadily approaching)...

I feel that in much recent years the zombie film has become stagnant, parodied and raped. Now, don't get me wrong, I love zombie films...I would say that at least 80% of the reason I'm even interested in horror is because of the Romero trilogy and later the more obscure and metaphoric, Fulci epics.  But, the sheer multitude of zombie films that have been released in the last 10 years is astounding and out of them, only a few are actually worth any attention. Maybe (a big maybe) I have become jaded, but truthfully I just feel sorely disappointed. If we take a step back and look at all the zombie films of generations past, they all have some merit, some worth, a reason to watch them.
Now, I step into my local HMV to browse the horror section and I immediately see dozens upon dozens of budget horror films...granted there are always the godawful possession / ghost movies, that require little or no special effects, but what else do I see? the beloved zombie film. Why? I don't know, I don't have a specific answer. I just feel as though a lot of these poor quality flicks demean horror. Enough to suggest that horror can't be intelligent, classy or have a sense of finesse and that's really quite sad.
By the way, I have already had the assumption that I could be alone in thinking this.

With that out of the way, perhaps I can begin to talk in droves about the topic at hand. Marvin Kren's Blood Glacier. Before viewing this I did read a little bit about it online and what I had gleaned was that it's very much in the vein of John Carpenter's The Thing (1982), which of course, only served to excite me further.



The plot has a fairly straight forward set up. A team of environmental scientists working in the Austrian alps discover a glacier leaking a red liquid that, unbeknownst to them, is affecting the local wildlife.

As I previously mentioned, yes it is very much like The Thing, but I'm sure any creature feature set in a snowy environment will always be compared to such. But, on other levels it is very akin to Carpenter's work. The one thing that struck me instantly was the music, there are a few string notes and melodies that sound as if they have been directly lifted from the 1982 Morricone/Carpenter score. Not to say that's a bad thing, by any means, for me it really set the tone.

Tonally the film is dark and oppressive. One of the films most memorable sequences involves Janek (Liebmann), struggling to find a way to deal with his ailing dog. The dog stands for more than just a pet, it's seemingly all he has left from a failed relationship with Tanja (Malovcic). For those who have ever been in a situation with a dying pet can surely understand the grief and moral confusion that goes hand-in-hand when dealing with it. Given this psychological aspect too, it is also quite comparable to The Thing. In as much as, the character's pent-up anger and resentment towards one another only serves to exacerbate the situation. Combined with the impending isolation and immediate threat.



In direct contrast to those touching and harrowing sequences, there are some genuine and (I believe) intentionally funny scenes present in Blood Glacier. One of which sees Janek attempting to convince the local wildlife Minister not to visit because of the recent 'outbreak', claiming there is a rabid fox on the loose.

On the whole, Blood Glacier is really enjoyable flick with great looking monsters. Taking the more traditional approach to effects, rather than utilising CGI. Fans of sci-fi horror, will definitely get a kick out of this for sure. For me, the only downside is that besides the clunky pacing, I just wish Kren had spent a little more time exploring the whole genetic workings of the organism and it's origins. We get a rough idea how it lives and forms 'new' creatures through a host body. But, I'm just left with a feeling of wanting more.

If memory serves correct, Rammbock also ended in a similar fashion. Perhaps Kren has a taste for ambiguity or he hasn't yet refined how to wrap up a story.

Alfonso Brescia's sci-fi sexploitation picture The Beast In Space/La bestia nello spazio.

Starring: Sirpa Lane, Vassili Karis, Umberto Ceriani, Venantino Venantini, Maria D'Alessandro and Claudio Undari.

The film opens with Captain Larry Madison (Karis) getting into a bar fight with smuggler, Juan (Venantini). During the fight, Juan drops a small vial, inside the vial is a rare metal known as 'Antalium'. A key ingredient in the development of powerful weapons. Juan eventually spills the beans about where he found the metal, explaining that it's from a planet located in an uncharted part of the cosmos.

Larry reports back to the star fleet with his findings and is immediately tasked leading an expedition to the mysterious planet and recovering any Antalium they can find.

The Beast In Space is an odd mix of a low budget space opera and a porn flick, in a similar fashion to Joe D'Amato's 80s horror-hardcore porn flicks. At times, the film does appear very equal to a D'Amato production, but, unlike his hardcore efforts, Brescia's film is quite well shot, predominantly the scenes of eroticism are wonderfully filmed with bi-coloured lighting. The film is shot utilizing that old soft 'Vaseline-smeared-on-lens' technique, which gives the film a dreamy quality. Unfortunately the minimal budget outshines the aforementioned praise, the costumes and set design look terribly cheap. The influence from Lucas' Star Wars (1977) gleams, with Brescia even going so far as incorporating a disastrously choreographed 'lightsaber' fight sequence into the later half of the flick and a terribly acted shootout that would have the extras of a spaghetti western cringing. The sex scenes almost feel completely out of place in comparison to the rest of the film, especially the bizarre insert of a pair of horses copulating.



Furthermore, in an obvious attempt to tether his film to the success of Walerian Borowczyk's The Beast/La bête (1975), Brescia's film also features Sirpa Lane in a starring role as the beautiful Lt. Sondra Richardson, also similar to Borowczyk's The Beast, Lane also falls foul to the carnal desires of a non-human 'beast'. Lane's lackluster performance becomes somewhat grating after the first 45 minutes especially when her co-stars performances are as equally tedious. A shame, considering her performance in D'Amato's Papaya: Love Goddess of the Cannibals/Papaya dei Caraibi (1978).

Sadly, for me The Beast In Space was a dull affair and I can only give my recommendation to Italian sexploitation completists.

I am in process of moving and rewriting certain posts from ye olde Bloody Italiana to here so...Boom! Luigi Cozzi's Alien rip-off Contamination.

This film contains elements of a few films, starting along the same line as Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2 (aka Zombie Flesh Eaters) with an 'abandoned' vessel speeding towards New York City. Also having a green egg with something inside it that causes organisms to explode from the inside out. Only it isn't quite abandoned it is carrying its cargo...and the dead crew. The cargo is the main plot device for the rest of the film. The cargo is boxes and boxes of Colombian coffee or what seems to be coffee. Upon further inspection it turns out that the boxes contain large green eggs. Which when touched explode, spewing their contents all over the unlucky person holding it, causing them to violently explode...from the inside out especially the chest area (another nod to Alien).

That said I can now get onto the cast.
This like many 80's Italian films features the great Ian McCulloch as a stubborn Commander Ian Hubbard who with Hamilton (Siegfried Rauch) went on a trip to Mars. They come across a cave where Hamilton 'changed' and Hubbard suffers from acute memory loss of the whole experience, but manages to remember more as the plot continues.

The vessel is brought ashore and investigated by the local authorities. What they find first are the dead crew. As they continue to explore they go down into the 'belly' of the ship finding the boxes of coffee containing the eggs. One of the boxes has fallen and an egg has rolled under one of the hot pipes. It begins to glow and make a odd (vocal?) sound (which you will hear very often). As one of the inspectors picks the egg up in very slow motion it bursts, spreading the contagion all over him and another 2 officers. From which they all explode violently in slow motion. This way we get to see all the chunks blow out of the chest cavity. Lovely. Only one officer survives the mess. He is Lieutenant Tony Aris (Marino Masé) who alerts the Government of the disaster in hope to prevent an outbreak. We are then introduced to a foxy Colonel Stella Holmes (Louise Marleau) who has Tony quarantined much to his dislike. We are then shown how the 'green gunk' from one of the eggs has an effect on a lab-rat. As the little rat is injected with the substance, it runs around the container and then explodes. The latter is a more comical than shocking result.

This leads Colonel Holmes on a search for the couch potato Hubbard. At first Hubbard is reluctant to participate in the investigation. But after conversation he joins them on their travel to Columbia. There they find the coffee refinery run by a seemingly insane Hamilton & his wife. We get treated to some flash back sequences on Mars which inside the cave lay thousands of green eggs (which actually look like peas). In the hotel someone sneaks into Stella's room while she is showering and places an egg in there. Fortunately for her Hubbard breaks the door down and rescues this damsel in distress. Hubbard then takes a small plane over the plantation to see what he can see but crashes the plane. As he is trying to find his way back through the all the plants he finds scattered eggs and people in white suits 'picking them' as if they are simply ripe fruit. He knocks out one of the workers and gets a suit, this is where he becomes the next James Bond. When he returns he finds that Sella and Tony have been kidnapped by Hamilton. They go down into the 'basement' of the complex. Here we find the true horror. In a large open space under the building hides the...wait for it...Cyclops Alien. Yes an alien with one large glowing eye. Turns out that while on the planet Mars Hamilton decided to take a 'seed' back to earth and in theory bring the alien back with him. The special effects on the alien are superb rivaling the effects of Alien.
--Spoiler ALERT--
Unfortunately Tony is fed to the alien and is chomped down on and then sucked into the alien by a tube...makes sense.
The same fate seems destined for Stella luckily for her Hubbard arrives to save the day holding Hamilton's wife hostage. As Hamilton is now under full control by the alien he shoots his wife as Hubbard has her as a human shield. He then pushes Stella aside and proceeds to kick the gun from Hamilton's hand. After a small game of fisticuffs with Hamilton he knocks him out. He then grabs Stella who has now become hypnotised by the eye of the cyclops. Hubbard shoots the alien right in the eye, causing it to die and make noises like someone passing wind. A weary Hamilton pops out pointing a six shooter right at the pair of escapees. As the alien dies and having a 'connection' with it. He also begins to die. It all comes to an end with a bang. Leaving the military to come in and clean the place up. Que the ending dialogue with explanation. We then cut straight to a New York City street as the camera pans across some bin bags we see an egg, as the camera closes in on it. It explodes!

This features a funky score by legendary band Goblin. On the whole this is a very good flick with some chunky gore and some great locations. I also found it strange seeing the Twin Towers in the New York skyline.I recommend this to any gorehound or sci fi geek. Lovers of Italian cinema will also get a kick out of this. So if you haven't seen it. I suggest you do!

DVD: Blue Underground
Running Time: 95 mins
Extras: Alien Arrives on Earth: Interview with Co-Writer/Director Luigi Cozzi, Luigi Cozzi on the Creation of Contamination: Behind the Scenes Documentary, Theatrical Trailer, Poster & Stills Gallery and Graphic Novel (DVD-ROM) Stills Gallery and Graphic Novel (DVD-ROM)

Okay so, I know it's not a sleazefest but this needed to mention this on here. A surprisingly overlooked '80s gem that I cannot begin to explain my admiration for. I apologise in advance for any fanboy gushings.

The first time I caught this this was a fair few years ago on the Sci-Fi channel. My father and I were flicking through channels trying to find something that would entertain us for the rest of the evening, when we happened upon a movie called Night of the Creeps.

After the opening sequence I was instantly captivated, seeing the little baby bodied aliens with oversized heads running around their ship attempting to stop one of their own from releasing an 'experiment'. Their mission however was unsuccessful and the experiment's capsule is fired from the spacecraft. As we follow the capsules journey to Earth we are slung back into a late 1950's sorority row; complete with black and white film stock. A cool stylistic approach which later cropped up in Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers. This is primarily the entire set up of the film as we see a young couple going to a parking spot where they see a 'falling star'. They drive to where it came crashing down. As the boy leaves the car to investigate the woods, the girl hears over the radio that an escaped mental patient wielding a fire axe is lurking in their area. As the boy approaches the capsule, something resembling a leech jumps into his mouth. Unfortunately for the girl she gets hacked to pieces by escapee with an axe.

Fast forward to 1986, it's pledge week on the same sorority row. Here we are introduced to Chris Romero (Jason Lively) and his handicapped friend J.C. (Steve Marshall). As they're engaging in conversation Chris spots the beautiful Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whitlow). Following her into the fraternity house with hopes of wooing her. To gain her full attention Chris decides they should join the fraternity. For their pledge they are required to steal a corpse from the university medical centre and place it on the steps of another fraternity. Going along with the ridiculous pledge they sneak into the medical centre and find a secret room which turns out to be a cryogenics lab, which just so happens to contain the body of the young man from the 50's. Upon opening the containment unit and pulling him out, his hand grabs J.C.'s arm causing both of the boys to run out of the lab leaving the corpse on the floor.
Cue the entrance of Detective Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins), a cop that dated the girl who was killed back in the 50's. With the corpse now thawed, it goes back to the sorority house where his girlfriend used to live. The one Cynthia happens to reside in. It climbs to her window where it's head splits open and leeches spill from it which hit the floor and slither away.
This is where the madness begins, and where you should go and find this on a streaming service, or buy this on DVD / Blu-ray.

Fred Dekker does an amazing job of blending sci-fi, horror & comedy. The characters are enduring, endearing, lovable, and believable. Tom Atkins gives one of the most memorable performances with his character's dead pan one liners.